Inhale Exhale

Each week, pours out like running water.
Each day, a dance with time.
The ever strive to be present,
Admist rain or shine.

The surging of the ocean,
The ebbing of the tide,
The work that I am given,
The Flow that is Divine.

We all, absolutely children.
We all, absolutely Thine.
Enfolded within the Trinity.
The fourth man in the fire of God.

John Hicks

I knew an old man who lived in that house. He sat in that chair and stared into the street.
He smoked his cigarettes and fed that cat. He pontificated rights and easement ways. His funny common sense wisdom always proved neighborhood orthodoxy. His name was John Hicks.

In 2009, newly wed, we moved in across the street from this old man in a place in Nashville where no-one cared to look. Barely knowing anyone in the community we began to make friends with this hard-eyed, masonry-handed, gentle-hearted man.

The more we got to know John the more of a goofball we realized he was. One morning when I decided to tag along with John on his Shoney's run I discovered this further. Not only was he the biggest Shoney's waitress flirt (they loved it too), actually none of them knew his real name! We went in and they all shouted: "Hey Sam!" He also told them that he lived in a cave and had a pet opossum.

But as the years went by the more I understood how John wasn't just some funny old man, but somewhat of a community patriarch who represented a different time and era... Whose relationships went deep with those who knew him. John and his siblings had grown up in the house in that photo. Remnants of a neighborhood fading away... In many ways, he was a testimony to a way of life that preached about commitment and even covenantal-neighborhoods. It is the forgotten art of staying put... of harvesting the fruit of a life of consistency. What might the world be like if we could relearn how to pour ourselves out completely to a particular place and people?

I could blog-on about how I've seen this man do for others, mowing grass for people half his age, working on cars, and on and on. Little did John know how much he had been inching into the Kingdom of God over his 75 years.

But as I sat beside his bed, with only days left to live, his coherence almost lost, neighbors and friends came to visit. His life spoke true by those who came. It was those neighbors from around the corner. It was the women who worked at the Circle K. Local lives touched by a local man.

Now John may be gone, and soon to follow this house where we clocked hours on those old metal chairs... yet, the kingdom of heaven has advanced and will continue to do so as John's life ripples into today.

We thank God for such a person and may we all learn something about the simplicity and power of presence through him.

Worship Babies

In many ways, the time I get to spend with my girls is the closest I get to true worship with God. The presence, joy, peace that I experience with them is presence, joy, peace that is from God as a gift - and in worship, for God.
I know how much I've been pre-conditioned to expect holy moments of worship in some service during the chorus of some song... or 5:30 in the morning as I sit in the dark praying. But even though my theology as always told me this - the last few years of life have revealed this to be more true and real than ever before... How expansive the heart of worship is! We do our faith and most of all our Maker an irretrievable dis-service when we leave such narrow descriptors of worship. Even perhaps that we the need to place such stark "descriptors" on it suggests that we are already missing it.

Is worship not being present in the presence of God? Anywhere and everywhere we are... to acknowledge His presence there before us... there with us presently... and His presence transcending "us" and "this" on into the future.

And God's presence is everywhere, flowing all over His creation. In the beginning of his book The Divine Dance author Richard Rohr writes about the presence of God, "This triune God allows you, impels you, to live easily with God everywhere and all the time: in the budding of a plant, the smile of a gardener, the excitement of a teenage boy over his new girlfriend, the tireless determination of a research scientist, the pride of a mechanic over his hidden work under the hood, the loving nuzzling of horses, the tenderness with which eagles feed their chicks, and the downward flow of every mountain stream." (1)
(Yes, it does sound a little like a mystical Hallmark card!)

God is present all around us and His Spirit is constantly inviting us to participate in His holy flow... inviting us into worship.

Those little teeth that peek out at me when they smile. The dimples that simultaneously sink on their cheeks. The little belly laughs. The stuffing cereal in their mouths. The "Dada's" and "Mama's" - all invocations to worship.
I'm sure had it all been recorded there were chapters more on Jesus' words about the kingdom of heaven and little children. Yet, what we have is enough to know - The kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these. (2)

And that calls me to worship, today.

1 - The Divine Dance - pg. 38
2 - Matthew 19:14

Purple Socks

I'm not a fighter, i'm a lover.
But 30 minutes in to trying to get my 3 year old to put on socks this morning, I come out of my corner with gloves up!
I'm fairly confident that Story is an 8 on the enneagram (like her mom). And if that doesn't seem to mean anything to you.. it should, because the world is run by them.

Some mornings, by the time Emily leaves with the girls for school it feels like I've done 10 rounds in the ring! I'd say really the winner of this last round was daylight savings time... that blindsided us all with a 1 - 2 punch. I went from getting no quiet time in my morning prayer because the girls were waking up so early to now i'm having to wake (all 3 of) them up to get ready! And everyone knows not to mess with sleeping bears... But sometimes that's just why there are daddys.

So before the work day can even begin there is a sort of release ritual that I must enter into (if there's time). It involves closing my eyes, saying "Lord" over and over, and taking lots of deep breathes. It's a fine line between coming back off the ledge and contemplation.

Now for those who don't know me that well I say all this with equal amounts of jest and truth. There is a cosmic comedy to life... the things that we find most true are equally as funny... because it seems that the more we discover about Truth, the more Audacious we find it to be.

This is why people who's faith and worldviews are cemented into place have lots of struggle with the future... They would rather the future be stagnant. But instead it is of course constantly changing. Thus, for them the future is always the next step toward our epic demise as a society and world... rather than a step closer to the Eschaton... Ultimate Reality... Heaven.

Months ago I decided that our family needed to be more intentional about our morning routine. It clearly needed something more than "oh the girls are awake...what time is it? ... are we late?... what's for breakfast?" Are you with me?
So we scheduled out every weekday morning with who gets up with the girls, what they cook ,and what time breakfast is. Its worked maybe half the time... maybe. But we'll get there. I do believe beginning our days intentionally rather than reaction-ally will see us participating in the kingdom to come a little better.

But as for today, we're just trying to put on socks.

What Do I Really Want?

The house is a wreck. Keeping up with two little girls is more challenging than juggling standing on one leg while atop a circus elephant blowing his nose.
... Yeah I said it.

It leaves you potentially asking the question every single day, "Am I using my time for that which is best?"

Every time I stop to do laundry I could be spending irretrievable time with my children. Or if I sit down to color with Story for an hour - the moment I get up to do something different, "Dad, come color with me!" Sometimes my three-year-old actually looks at me and says "Spend time with me!"
What three-year-old says that!? How can you turn that down!?
Now some of you reading this are thinking,"Dude... spend time with your kids!" "Don't be a jabroni man!" Let me begin by saying I wish I could spend every day with them... And Emily and I go to great lengths to have intentional family time with our beautiful and amazing little girls. We Sabbath on Saturdays, watch them together on Wednesday's, go to the library, have play time at night, we make sure to eat breakfast together every morning... Not to toot my own horn *toot* ... I think I'm a pretty good dad. Who knows, maybe the best dad in the world, whose to say... really.... ;)

Although, I have been chewing on the thought again lately of boundaries and focus. Now of course when we think of the term boundaries we begin to draw lines in our minds and tend to think of things being inside or out of them. I would venture to say it is much more blurry than that.
I'm not on the John Maxwell wagon much anymore but he does have a helpful axiom that goes something like, "You should never feel like you should be at home when you're at work, and you should never feel like you should be at work when you are at home."
My latest reaction to that is... well, you clearly don't work from home do you, Johnny?

Ok seriously, though, it does give a healthy framework of thinking about life. If we are continually thinking about being in a place that is OTHER than where we are... we will never know the Present.

There comes a moment, and you'll know it by the smell, that you must wash the diapers (for those who adhere to the holiness code of cloth diapering)... OR there is unidentified green colored growth happening on a pile of dirty dishes... OR there is a rustling coming from your hamper... as if amidst the dirty laundry there is now a wocket living in your pocket. You know what I'm talking about.

You can't go on coloring, life must be dealt with. At some point, to reference the late great King Solomon... the eating has stopped, the drinking is done, and now it's time for the toil. Enjoy the dishes! (see Ecclesiastes for further notes on enjoying chores)

Yet! Life isn't meant to live in a state of chaotic reaction. Clearly, you shouldn't let mold... or wockets in your house. But I believe we are designed for rhythms. Ordinary, everyday guilt-free, holy life, rhythms. A time for everything...and you have to decide when that time is. The fun part is deciding what your rhythm looks like... the hard part may be sticking with it... the grace comes as you learn to be less rigid with your lines... the love comes as you learn to love the present.

Maybe you don't do laundry on Tuesdays. Maybe you only do laundry on Tuesdays.
Maybe you play with your kids before you do anything else on a Monday.
Maybe you better have a cup of coffee before you even talk to your spouse... but you're going to have to get up just a little bit earlier if you're going to do that!

I guess the point is... to create your life rhythm... your rule of life... you have to answer the question. What is it that I want? What do I want? What do I really want? Like, really?
Do I want to sleep more? Or better relationships?
Do I want money? Or do I just want more time to read and pray?
Do I want to eat more sweets? Or do I want to feed hungry people?

This likely sounds trivial and slightly hyperbole. But it isn't. Because how we spend the few hours we have on earth, right now, will come down to you answering that question that no one else will answer... What do I really want? 

Out of what those answers are... There may you find your life.

Kingdom Compost and some Celine Dion

Ashes to Ashes. Dust to Dust.
The Kingdom of God advances as we learn to die. That our lives may become kingdom compost.

The church generally has been more interested in how to grow than how to die, and ironically the more it struggles for its life the more it dies.
.. but that may be for another post.

Personally, Lent calls to me this year and reminds me to pray, to fast, and to give. One would assume a Jesus follower is doing these things continually and steadfast. Yet it's amazing when we step back and look hard into how we spend each day how much these practices are missing from our lives.

We like to say "I pray continually"
Or "I fasted breakfast this morning as I ran out the door running late"
"I give, I have a weekly automatic withdrawl for tithe."

hmmm... Nope.

The temptation for too many of us is to believe because God loves us the way He does, He understands "how insane my life is," and accepts my "sacrifices" as they are. As I am.
And I would make no argument against that! Except! Because God loves us in the extraordinary way He does, our response becomes Loving God, with all our heart, mind, soul, strength. As one of my favorite authors, Richard Rohr says in his new book, Divine Dance, "God can only be loved and enjoyed..."
Specific and intentional moments of Prayer - Fasting - Giving are at the heartbeat of following Jesus any further.

Doing these things will slow your heart, they will make every beat count.

They will slow your breathing, turning your lungs into hermeneutical instruments of grace.

It will empty out your belly, and fill up your life force. Your soul.

It will open your hands, to release and receive.. and release again.

This Lent, may we come to our End. So that we may Begin Again.





All I have left here is a slightly unrelated quote from, you guessed it, Celine Dion -
"You were my strength when I was weak; you were my voice when I couldn't speak; you were my eyes when I couldn't see; you saw the best there was in me; lifted me up when I couldn't reach, you gave me faith because you believed. I'm everything I am because you loved me."
So good! Right!? Go ahead, sing it. 😉