Women - The Next Generation of Jedi Masters

Women.
They're everywhere.
And just in case you didn't know, They may be taking over.
And just in case you didn't know, They we're already in charge.

A funny anecdote I read echoes this, reflecting how the man makes all the "big decisions" and the wife makes all the little ones, "My wife decides what neighborhood we should live in, what schools are best for the children, how to budget our money, where we should go on vacation, who we socialize with, and things like that. But I decide the big issues, like whether we should trust the Russians, whether the government is doing a good job, and what we should do about the economy."

Its such a funny thing to label women as "the weaker sex" - there are no weak women in my house. In fact i'm not sure weak women exist.
Particularly in a world that has for so long oppressed the woman, she has learned to come out the other side even stronger than before... if possible.
The media is littered with this. Last January women all over the nation came to rally together against the bigotry and false power of masculinity... and they've rallied all year long. In fact "Feminism" was recently awarded Word of the Year for 2017.
You Go Girl.

Recently, I listened to talk from Christena Cleveland (social psychologist, theologian, author, professor) who referred to the Biblical creation narrative as a reflection of how a fallen world interprets feminine wisdom. That the people of Moses' day would have understood the Creation myth in a way that reflects the serpent as an icon and symbol, of feminine wisdom... that in the beginning how cultures began to understand this was, "Don't trust women."

I'm not sure she's wrong.
Hasn't history been consistent in its oppression of the feminine and what women have to offer? Wouldn't a historically patriarchal religion look back on their ancient myths and say it was what the woman took for herself and offered to the man that led us into all this...?

(Side note, most of us think about a Myth as something that is a lie or a false narrative... but a Myth is quite the opposite. A true myth is something that is so true in fact that our words find themselves quite incapable of describing it well... Such as the creation narrative)

The denomination i'm a part of has been wise enough to lift women up specifically within the roles of church leadership. Yet, this is not without struggle. It amazes me that a society can be so "advanced" in so many ways and yet still find ourselves oppressing the other... specifically the Female. From whom we are all born!

Ofcourse the majority of the issue is with the male. Many men in their brokenness spend their lives overcompensating. Exerting force in order to attempt communication while simultaneously suppressing the very means we've been ordered to communicate... Feelings.

Mary in her song in Luke 1 addresses the very obstacles we all face. Power, Prestige, and Possessions. These are the three things that stand between each and everyone of us and the kingdom of God. Jesus calls these out over and over again. And men have a lot of each one of them... particularly more than women do atleast in almost every culture worldwide.

Mary, in her humility, in her awareness, in her openness to receive, teaches us everything we need to know about entering the Kingdom of God. Yet most of us aren't empty enough to become pregnant with it.
We haven't yet embraced the "Nothing" ... so that we might uncover the "shall be impossible"... (to quote my brilliant wife.)

Perhaps much of the male-problem has to do with, as a gender, many men in their natural authority have exihibited very little self control. Leaving the other gender in a vulnerable state.
Now our First Order, even within the church, is structured for a man to be in power.

What the world needs is a great reimagining.
Not a reimagining of what it looks like for women to have power... but a reimagining of power itself.

Maybe the temptation of the new woman will be not to overcompensate themselves... to the point of becoming the new Sith-lords of the Empire themselves. The trajectory of the past has seen how the oppressed can become the oppressor.

Going forward what might it look like to find balance in the Force?
What will it require?

And Mary said,

“My soul magnifies the Lord,
    and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
for he has looked with favor on the lowliness of his servant.
    Surely, from now on all generations will call me blessed;
for the Mighty One has done great things for me,
    and holy is his name.
His mercy is for those who fear him
    from generation to generation.
He has shown strength with his arm;
    he has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts.
He has brought down the powerful from their thrones,
    and lifted up the lowly;
he has filled the hungry with good things,
    and sent the rich away empty.
He has helped his servant Israel,
    in remembrance of his mercy,
according to the promise he made to our ancestors,
    to Abraham and to his descendants forever.”

Nuclear Dentalology

In the hot seat. Bracing myself to get a new filling in my ever aging teeth... due to my never ceasing sugar addiction... The Dentist enters the room.

As usual he enters with authority. Blurting out random things and exerting his clear "power" in his office. (Of which he is the only male in the building.)
Prompted by the news from the TV inside our dental cubical, I make some comment on the state of our climate, of which he takes the opportunity (being the professing Christian that he is) to say "I wonder when God is going to come back and just blow up this whole place!...That's what it says in 1st or 2nd Peter... God's going to come back and blow everything up... You know, a New Heaven and a New Earth..."
This is being said as he sticks a numbing needle into my mouth!


As usual, Everyone is a Theologian... Its a good thing not everyone tries to be a Dentist.

The consequences would be equally disastrous... you know, a Blowing Up of someone's teeth... right?


Which was about the last words I got out in the not-so-conversation...
"Just don't blow up my mouth..."

It's almost like this sort of theology is missing something...

This simply put is basically the antithesis of Advent. It is in fact Bizarro Advent.
To put our "Hope" in a God whose return is the "Blowing Up" of all things... the destruction... the burning up of our world...


What a shallow and pointless theology... (Why fix anyone's teeth? Why do anything good? ... its all going to burn!)


Why can we not understand that God has always been the Alchemist? That our God has always been the One moving to Redeem His World... and the Fire He brings is one of purification!?

The Cross is the path that leads us into the Crucible.


To this day I still cannot quite believe the gospel we've labeled as "hopeful" reflects a God who needs to murder His Son in order to save us from His own wrath so that we don't burn forever! And brace yourself for the second coming... because as the Dentist said, "I believe the big bang is going to happen at the end!"
What horrible good news...


Maybe though, he is unknowingly using helpful language in that, the second coming of the Christ will be like a New Big Bang... a finale of Creation... and where this whole thing has been going will at last arrive... and all this Advent will at last reveal that which creation has been groaning and birthing... A New Thing...

A Child.




Many years later we are still receiving the words of the angel, "Greetings, favored one! The Lord is with you." - Luke 1:28

Avarice Advent and the Grinch who Gave Christmas

The story of the Grinch, like many other Dr. Seuss stories, is actually a helpful parable that shines light on a deeper topic. Recently like good Netflix watching Americans during the holidays we just watched the Jim Carrey adapted version of How the Grinch Stole Christmas... 

Total side note, but have you ever noticed how many bizarre green characters that Jim Carrey has acted as? Think about it!

In Whoville we get a closer look at the life of one young girl, Cindy Lou Who. Who in the film is undergoing an inner struggle about the true meaning of Christmas... because it's just not "doing it" for her like it used to... There must be something more than wrapped boxes full of needs and wants...

Then in the story, of course the Grinch "steals" Christmas only to uncover something real down in the hearts of the people in Whoville... and in his own heart aswell.

They say it grew three sizes that day.

The part I find most interesting in the movie is that the Grinch figure, the one who seems the most distant from Christmas... is actually the one who discloses the heart of it. 

"That's what it's all about, isn't it? That's what it's always been about. Gifts, gifts... gifts, gifts, gifts, gifts, gifts! You wanna know what happens to your gifts? They all come to me. In your garbage. You see what I'm saying? In your garbage. I could hang myself with all the bad Christmas neckties I found at the dump. And the avarice never ends! "I want golf clubs. I want diamonds. I want a pony so I can ride it twice, get bored and sell it to make glue." Look, I don't wanna make waves, but this whole Christmas season is...stupid, stupid, stupid!" - The Grinch

Sometimes prophets are called Grinches.

(Also, I can't help but briefly point out the similarity in the Grinch and one the best Sesame Street characters Oscar the Grouch! I mean come on!)

I've been called a Grinch.

For years now Emily and I have decided we aren't going to do Christmas gifts. I believe gifts have a way of separating us from Christmas rather than bringing us into it. To divert our worship rather than build it up. To ironically make us greedy or needy or consumeristic rather than thankful. And let me tell you as someone who makes their living in the trash industry and works to prevent things from the landfill... it all does end up there.... and unfortunately there is no Grinch on the other side making use of your old crap. Your old crap is currently destroying the ozone layer, Merry Christmas! (go ahead... say it... "Grinch!"... wait, maybe I am a ... Grinch...) 

To get a little honest, I don't think there is a single theologically legitimate argument for giving presents during Christmas. Please stop with the "but the wise men gave gifts"...  If the Messiah was born and you were there you probably would have bowed down in worship giving gifts as-well. But your spouse is not the Messiah and they probably don't need new perfume to bring them into the nativity. 

If there is a precedence for presents during the Christmas season, it must be out of a place of worship... Worship always has to do with Gratitude, and true Gratitude always finds itself in some form of reciprocation... and sometimes that's with gifts. Gifts ought to be an outflow of our Worship. And if it is, it probably ought to look more like food for the hungry, a bed for the homeless, rather than a new toaster for Uncle Tom.

If Advent teaches us anything its that the Kingdom of God is coming... and if we know anything about being Ready for it... its that Matthew 25 type of giving. Which just so happens to be the exact opposite of consumerism. 

Noah's Ark and Mass Exctintion

It was recently just announced that the Javan Rhino has officially become an extinct species.
Add it up to another tragedy that we will glance at as we scroll down our newsfeed this week.

I saw a bumper sticker this morning that said something like, "Climate change, a serious endangerment to unicorns." It was supposed to be funny... making climate change sound like a mythical thing such as unicorns...
Yet the irony is... we can now substitute Unicorn for Javan Rhino.

Future generations will likely know little about them, they will become mythical legend. Along with thousands of other species.

We hear abut these animals going extinct and sure it makes us sad, but for the most part we feel disconnected from that information. As if we have nothing to do with it.


But if the Lion King has taught us anything, its that We are all connected in the great circle of Life.

Recently I found myself spending Black Friday not at the mall but touring the Ark Encounter in northern Kentucky with my family. If you haven't heard of it its a life-size replica of Noah's Ark... in the hills of Kentucky. Pretty impressive stuff actually.
Over the past several days I've been wrestling with it all. What is it that drives us to replicate this monstrosity of a project?

There is a group of people who's faith is very much like a large boat. Their belief is a structure to be built. Church is a place that you go. For this person, everything in the Bible adds up together to make a packaged "case for God." (Although if you actually just read the Bible it tends to not fit into any of these categories it is placed in.) For this group their faith is identical to a giant Ark that must be carefully constructed in just the right way so that every piece fits and it can carry them all to the other side.

The way in which this group tends to understand apocalypse is by seeing the end of the world or last days or better, the eschaton as something we are totally unconnected to... Its the belief that the end is coming and we have nothing to do with it... It happens to us and its out of our control.
And so the goal: To Escape It.


This sort of theology is very dangerous...
This sort of theology harms that which we've been given to take care of...
This sort of theology kills Rhinos.

I find it compelling and in beautiful cohesion with Scripture and particularly Genesis that the story of Noah's Ark is about our God once again partnering with faithful humanity in serving creation. God speaks, Noah responds in incredible faith, and namely all sorts of species are rescued from a flood.

Isn't it interesting then, that we can take a story like this and not focus on the relationship with God and humanity or creation... but use it as an instrument to prove something. We can take a narrative that seems to speak directly to God's desire to save every "kind" on the earth, and praise it, and build a shrine to it. Then in the next moment we can roll our eyes at the thought of Climate Change and be apathetic that another "kind" has now gone extinct.

It's amazing that we have difficulty seeing that we are unfaithful Noahs.

What does it mean that the story of humanity and God's people has always be a participatory story?
That from God's initial call in Genesis for humanity to take care of creation to Jesus' call to His disciples to announce the coming kingdom of heaven by healing the sick and raising the dead... that the end of all things has always been linked to the beginning of all things.

Like all those parables Jesus' gives us to be found faithful with what we have.... isn't because God is going to be angry when He shows back up and you haven't cleaned your room!
It's because we are all connected to everything and there is a reason we are here. There has always been a Missio Dei we are invited into.

So we can make a mess of the earth by our consumerism, our fossil fuels, our carbon footprints, our nuclear bombs, our plastic and chemicals, and leveling of rainforests...
We can continue to choose Hell and while singing I'll Fly Away...

Or we can receive the call that our loving Creator continues to draw us into... Loving God and so Loving Creation.

So may we participate in the coming Kingdom, the making of all things new, and may we sing Come Lord Jesus, Come.

Post-Truth

One of the biggest struggles with leadership has to be how to handle disappointment. Every leader has to deal with disappointment.
The moment that you realize that people aren't doing the things that you hoped they would do... disappointment.

We experience this in our friendships, in our parenting, in our marriages, in our work places, in the church. Everywhere.
You, like all people, at some point have experienced someone not responding to something the way you hoped they would respond.


Have you ever been in a conversation and were attempting to explain something, trying to convince someone of a point of view or a product... and you, in a rare moment, became Matlock and explained this thing SO well! You hit every right bullet point and breath, extracted every important feature with word precision and accuracy... that by the end of your "presentation" you were giving self high-fives!?
You thought, "I smashed it!" "Nailed it!" "They would have to be DEVOID of all logic not to be on the same page now!"


Then you wait.


And to your astonishment, they still don't get it.
They still aren't following.
They're still not convinced.


Meanwhile you literally, short of breathe, are flabbergasted at what has just occurred.




I've had many conversations like that over the years. But it wasn't until the election last year and all the chaos and fact checking surrounding it that I heard what had been deemed as the "word of the year" for 2016.


"Post-Truth"


Post-Truth... what a word.


Here's a definition -  Post-truth: "Relating to or denoting circumstances in which objective facts are less influential in shaping public opinion than appeals to emotion and personal belief."


Essentially its saying that you can throw information and facts out there all day long... but what really gets things done is appealing to emotion and belief... not necessarily being logical.


If you are a certain personality type, this may drive you insane. :)


Its the reason that everyone loves people like Joel Osteen... if there is one thing that guy seems to have is a positive attitude!
Its why you'll always lose the argument when the other person starts crying.
It's why we end up with guys like Donald Trump as president.


Post-truth.


But here's what's really going on. Its called your Limbic brain.


Science and biology tell us that the way decisions get made is through this part of our brain (the part that doesn't use words) that is concerned with the "Why." This is our limbic brain. It is the part of the brain that is responsible for our feelings. Yet the limbic brain is responsible for all behavior and decision making.


Interestingly enough, its actually not the neocortex part of our brain that makes decisions... even so this part of the brain deals with the "what." This is the explaining, analytical and linguistic part of our brain, even so it doesn't make the decisions.


Thus, I'm not surprised that you can talk until you're blue in the face about how something makes sense, how this product works, how someone should live a certain way... and people still aren't following... people still aren't getting it!
Because that's not how we are wired. (See Simon Sinek's Talk on Inspiring Action)
You can' t start with the "What" and expect anyone to be with you...


You must start with the "Why"


This goes for anything in life. All behavior.
Its why when Jesus is calling His disciples and they ask Him where He lives, Jesus responds "Come and See."


"We do not think ourselves into new ways of living, but we live ourselves into new ways of thinking."
- Richard Rohr


We're always trying to do things backwards.
Its through experience, taste, action, Presence that we are changed and transformed, and so are able to call others to taste the bread and wine themselves.




Choose anything you do in life.... now ask yourself why you do it.


Sometimes we are so unclear even in our own purpose and "why" ... its no wonder our lives don't seem compelling.


Religion has historically done this wrong. Even today I hear and see many pastors scratch their heads at the ever emptying congregations wondering what happened. "The message hasn't changed" they think to themselves "but where did everyone go?"


If the why is no longer clearly visible in what it is you are doing, if what you are about isn't something that sounds a little like "I have a dream", something that is compelling, something tasty...
then again I'm not that surprised they're not buying it.


Social Justice is always more compelling than "Getting Saved."


Don't get too disappointed your "what" didn't change the world... Transformation has always been about the Why

Why Christians should celebrate Halloween

The other day was Halloween. Halloween has always been an especially fun holiday for me growing up. We always went trick or treating... which for us living out in the boonies meant driving 25 minutes to the good neighborhoods. Back in my day you just grabbed your pillowcase and went for it! This was back when you might get candy apples or giant popcorn balls thus needing something larger than a puny basket. (to be read in Arnold Schwarzenegger voice)

Coupled with the sights and smells of the Fall, Halloween was simply a lot of good innocent fun growing up. Yet I realize that for many Christian families this is not the case at all... (thus the birth of Trunk or Treat etc. which seems to take the fun out of it in my opinion! Plus could the church find a more sketchy way to give kids candy!?)



Yesterday as I was going about my work I mentioned to someone in passing "and Happy Halloween!" ... as I said it it was supposed to be funny more than anything. I realize people don't typically say "Happy Halloween" like Merry Christmas or something! But all the same it seemed fine.
Yet, this particular person, of whom I don't know super well but what I do know is that she is a devout Christian, paused and said to me..."How about... Happy Fall Fest..."
**insert a little awkward silence***
and then we went our separate ways.


Happy Fall Fest...? Really?  ummm... No.


The whole thing reminded me of when we boycotted Disney films growing up (for another blog!) because of certain (fundamentalist) Christian values... until my mom came home with Pocahontas one day on VHS... because really, how long was that going to last!?




Halloween, or better stated, All Hallows Eve... isn't the day we celebrate the devil and his minions...


It is in fact that day that reminds us of the pattern of the universe.


All Hallows Eve... (the eve of All Saints Day, a beautiful Christian holiday) is a necessary moment when we say: to get to the Light we must always go through the Darkness.


Before there is new life there will always be death.
Before there is resurrection there is a burial.
Before there is a new day there is an old one that is passing away.




Our issue isn't goblins... its that we've forgotten the pattern of suffering and death to life that we were brought into even as we live. Its the very pattern Jesus came to teach us... (The sign of Jonah...)


But what we've been taught by the church is to "avoid the dark, dismiss the ugly, don't look that which is difficult in the eye and it may just go away... if you suffer then you must be outside of the Lord's plan for you."


Which coincidentally is the EXACT opposite of what Jesus and the entire thrust of Scripture teaches us. Suffering, the Cross, Death is always the way forward. Blessed are the poor, Blessed are the Hungry.
But we so eloquently have become masters at spiritualizing these revolutionary teachings... until now many are simply left with escapist theology.


Escapist theology will never let you trick or treat.

Because "that which is Dark, that which is Struggle... That which is full of shadows and despair... must be avoided... all we have to do is raise our hands higher in worship, squint our eyes more tightly, and have more faith..."


This sort of theology is BUST. It will never heal. It will never grow.


Because the only way forward is through confrontation, conflict, struggle.
"The first will be last and the last will be first." Isn't a futuristic proverb, or a bookmark. It is knife through the curtain that blinds us. A glimpse into reality.


Thus... naturally...


Christians ought to be the best darn Trick-or-Treaters...


Because we know... what's after the Eve, is the Hallows.

Your Trash and The End of The World.

I haul trash.

For those who didn't know, I get into a truck everyday drive around Nashville and haul off ALL sorts of stuff. Remodel debris, rotten moldy furniture, practically brand new appliances, metal pots and pans, yards full of belongings from families just evicted, clothes, kitchens full of food left behind, closets full of forgotten photos, more wood than you can shake a stick at :), pallets, drywall, plastic bottles for days and on and on...

Waste.

If I could somehow pile up everything that I've personally hauled off over the years it would take over the neighborhood.

That's a lot of stuff. That's a lot of material. That's a lot of waste. And that's just one dude in one truck hauling.

So its a pretty big deal that I recycle, reuse, and repurpose everything that I possibly can! And I definitely do...(feel free to check out our business, Earthtone Reconstruction and Recycling ) yet, the waste is still overwhelming.

Americans are ridiculously good at throwing stuff away. Our culture of consumption drives us to do it. The very material corporations give us are "Designed for the Dump." (check it out!) So when something breaks we toss it... never giving more than two seconds thought as to how we might fix it.

What's worse though is that Nashville particularly is in full on trash everything mode. Every
day so much gets thrown away that is still totally functional... just for the sake of modernizing.
This happens all over, every day, with fairly no thought given about the sort of impact this kind of trashing has on our planet.

Let me tell you guys, tons of this stuff does not break down.

And for those who do "consider" it, and think "Habitat will take this stuff!" ... even places like Habitat for Humanity and Goodwill are overwhelmed and inundated with too much stuff. I've personally pulled up to Habitat with a truck full of sinks etc. to give and they had so much that they wouldn't receive my donation. Tons of clothes from Goodwill never sell and simply end up being shipped overseas to third world countries. (If you haven't seen the documentary The True Cost, watch it! Its on Netflix) So much of our clothing ends up in landfills... which doesn't break down like you might think...

But we don't see this side of things. Once something is hauled off... it magically disappears and we don't have to think about it anymore... right? It no longer affects us... right?

But material is not endless, this sort of "progress" isn't sustainable.

I recently listened to a powerful Podcast from The Liturgists, called Pale Blue Dot, reflecting on the state of our planet and the urgency of humanities need to wake up and work together. (Give it a listen!!!)

From Pale Blue Dot: About 1 million humans are added to the Earth every four and a half days.
To feed all those people we are going to have to produce more food in the next 50 years than we have in the past 10,000 years combined. 
We need 600,000,000 acres every single year for the next 30 years to do this... this is a big problem because we are actually loosing twice that every single year.
Some scientist say humanity only has 60 years of farming left at current world soil degradation rates.

1 Billion humans already walk a mile each day for fresh water. At this rate of humanities' carbon footprint on the biosphere, there will be 4 Billion people who will be short fresh water in 10 years.

We have to learn how to work together, to take care of this world of ours, so that it can keep taking care of us. 


We cannot continue to turn a blind eye to what's happening to our planet. We've somehow developed this idea that we are separate beings from the world in which we live. As if there is humanity and then there is the planet that we live on. Yet we are not a people on the planet, we are a people of planet. We are all indigenous.

What would it look like if we all consumed less? If we all pursued every means of re-purposing and reusing that we could? What would it mean if we could all just be happy with the stuff we already own? Wouldn't it be just so counter-cultural to NOT remodel your bathroom?... for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven on Earth?

What might it be like if we were all actually OKAY with a little grunge? Could the slight bit of grunginess on our old appliances remind us of the state of our planet and possibly even call us into solidarity with SO MUCH of the world that doesn't even have appliances? Or a toilet? Or a Brita filter? Or a TV?!

Each and every person has to be willing to live-less... so that the world can live-more. To even, dare I say it, be un-trendy. Un-pretty. Un-sheek. What might it mean that our Instagrams aren't that beautiful... at least in the way our culture applauds beauty?

It might seem odd that this very blog is preaching against the very means i'm able to find income. Yet, let it die if the world can live!

It's fairly ironic, but if we all had to deal with our own waste... if there was actually no-where to take it and we had to absorb it ourselves... we might change the way we live.
It's no coincidence that the word Jesus uses for "Hell" is the place where all the Waste goes.
...

In All,
We must understand that the path of Love is synonymous with path of Descent... and that Loving our world is synonymous with Loving our neighbor. 


We may spend our entire lives receiving these words of Christ,
"Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God."

Upheaval. Couches and Codes.

It's one of those mornings... when you walk into your local coffee shop and they've moved the furniture around... Now your spot isn't your spot anymore! Know what I mean?

Upheaval.

Sometimes that word sums up everything, doesn't it?

Last Friday evening as I'm finishing up work for the week I get a phone call from Emily saying that she just checked the mail and we had a letter from Codes! You know, that department on Parks and Rec that no one likes. Codes.

Without a guess we knew who had made the call, it was one of our dear neighbors. She is an older lady who we have had a couple "spats" with before. Long story short, I've been rebuilding our deck after the old one literally fell down. Thus, I've had material neatly stacked next to the house covered in plastic... which apparently neighbor lady was secretly up in arms about because it was "touching her fence." (Which it wasn't.) Either way, I just don't think she liked having to look at it.
Ofcourse instead of talking with us about it we get reported to Big Brother.

So that Friday ended with two codes violations (having stuff out in your yard and not having a building permit!) and three confrontations with my neighbor.

Upheaval.

On the back of that, Saturday we checked our mail (which we've now decided we are no longer doing) and there is a letter informing us that the Learning Center that our kids go to during the week closes at the END OF THE MONTH!!

Really? You're shutting down our child's daycare and you're giving us less than three weeks to figure it out?

Upheaval.

Sometimes life does this to us, doesn't it?

Sometimes it all just seems ridiculously unfair, doesn't it?

It's like the people who are doing everything they can just to keep their heads above water, take care of their children, be a blessing to their community and world, and somehow pay the bills... get hit with the codes violation...

And those who have more time than they know what to do with... move the furniture around and gripe about property lines...


The challenge comes... in the midst of all the upheaval, the struggle, the complete exhaustion... to simply continue loving. To not allow the upheaval and the mess derail what you are all about and who you are.
The temptation in dealing with upheaval is to let it spiral you into depression or in vengeance find yourself wanting to cause chaos in the lives of others.

But what if... instead of doing those things, we might find ourself simply receiving it.
Embracing and moving on.

Sure when it happens... scream at the top of your lungs. Maybe go chop some wood. Go for a run!

But then, receive it.
Knowing, that our God is much larger than codes...
That the King of the World will set you in a new place.

Sometimes its that "negative capability" (as Richard Rohr might call it) that becomes the very thing that catapults us forward.
Sometimes it's the very motion of having to swing into the dark that has the capability of launching us into the light.

May our upheaval not leave us in despair or revenge, but may we rebound, trampoline, resurrect forward into an even greater grace for that neighbor... for that community.... for that world... that really is only acting out of pain anyway.

May our upheaval be the catalyst that upheaves darkness all around us.

Because after real actual death comes life. That's the pattern of the universe.

Numbers Nazarenes

Recently I spent my Memorial Day sitting in a tabernacle full of Nazarene pastors and lay people.
Once a year we gather together at a camp ground for what we call our District Assembly... which for us represents half of Tennessee and all of Mississippi. Aka, lots of churches.

It's hard for us to believe, but these sorts of gatherings were originally created out of a movement. The Church of the Nazarene was a movement birthed out of a group of people caring for the poor and proclaiming the kingdom of heaven. Ironically though, when in an effort to preserve what a movement is about, overtime, movements can become stagnant institutions that are more interested in freezing history rather than ... making it.

Fast forward 100 years, we come to these District Assembly's and just about everything we do is summed up with no words at all, but with Numbers.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5 - that's all we need to know.

We sit down, open the packet in our seat, flip through the list of churches. Nothing is listed under each name except numbers. Nothing. Just numbers.

How are we doing as a District? Let's check our pulse... It's time for the Finance Committee report.

How is our Camp Ground doing? Let's see the budget.

How is our University doing? How many students are we bringing in?

More numbers please.


What if,

Numbers are what you report... when the movement is over.
Numbers have always been the world's way of showing how successful it is.
Numbers are how we try to Prop up our systems and declare "see Lord how good we are."

What if the kingdom doesn't grow by numbers?
What if the very moment we began attempting to count souls, we missed it?

The very moment that heaven became a destination instead of what makes up this Present moment... that's when we replaced Movement for Numbers.

What if Jesus has no interest in your numbers?
What if making disciples of all nations was never a numbers game?
But in order to feel successful we had to make it that.

If we truly embraced the lifestyle that Jesus came to teach us we would've never thought about numbers in the first place. Could it be any more obvious that the path Jesus came to teach us, that The Way, in which we received wasn't a hierarchical religious structure... but only a Cross.

It is only by the path of descent into Death, that the church will be able to find life.
It is not in the wilderness that the Church must embrace going, but into the tomb.
Because only when we have died may we be Resurrected!

Only when we are willing to loose all the numbers,
To stop playing the game of propping ourselves up and "measuring success"
To truly die to the system that attributes the Kingdom of Heaven with a scorecard...

Only then will we return to the movement that which is the Kingdom of Heaven
Only then will we remember why we were first called Nazarenes.

Ego

Ego
Everyone has one.
Some are completely unaware of it.
Others are ultra sensitive to it.
Most of us are in-between.

For the majority of us still in the first half of life (as Richard Rohr might say) we are busy doing a lot of ego work. Building our business, raising our children, leading in our community, decorating our homes. We are busy doing the image work of our lives. We're moved by Pinterest and Instagram. We are developing a brand. We are making a Name.
Our concern is still so closely tied to our image. Our ego is hard at work.

This is not a negative thing, it's more of just what it is. Honestly, it's a lot to do with how we are hardwired. The first half of life has work to do in order to figure out...
Who I am...
Why I'm here...
Where am I going!?

These are questions we have to answer. Some will even spend their entire life answering them.
But what does it mean for us to begin to enter the second half of life?
What might it mean to finally move beyond the image work, the identity questions, to actually living? ... To be present in the naked now and recieve all that you've already been given?

In a culture that drives us to canstantly consume... to own the language of Taking...
Recieiving may be the most simple thing you'll ever do and yet perhaps the most difficult.

When you have become totally comfortable in your own skin...
When you wake up ready to recieve, not take...
When you breathe, eat, work, play, rest out of true gratitude...

You are entering the second half of life.

When your daily practice has more to do with your ego passing away than it does with growing larger... you will be closer to Life, and so closer to Christ.

Out of all the
accomplishments
Goals
Spreadsheets
Jobs
Tasks
Diaper Changes
Deadlines
Exhaustion
you may be faced with today,

May you take a step out, so that you may breifly look in, and begin to Recieve all that which you so believe you have to take.

You are already Loved.
Life is already yours.

Inhale Exhale

Each week, pours out like running water.
Each day, a dance with time.
The ever strive to be present,
Admist rain or shine.

The surging of the ocean,
The ebbing of the tide,
The work that I am given,
The Flow that is Divine.

We all, absolutely children.
We all, absolutely Thine.
Enfolded within the Trinity.
The fourth man in the fire of God.

John Hicks

I knew an old man who lived in that house. He sat in that chair and stared into the street.
He smoked his cigarettes and fed that cat. He pontificated rights and easement ways. His funny common sense wisdom always proved neighborhood orthodoxy. His name was John Hicks.

In 2009, newly wed, we moved in across the street from this old man in a place in Nashville where no-one cared to look. Barely knowing anyone in the community we began to make friends with this hard-eyed, masonry-handed, gentle-hearted man.

The more we got to know John the more of a goofball we realized he was. One morning when I decided to tag along with John on his Shoney's run I discovered this further. Not only was he the biggest Shoney's waitress flirt (they loved it too), actually none of them knew his real name! We went in and they all shouted: "Hey Sam!" He also told them that he lived in a cave and had a pet opossum.

But as the years went by the more I understood how John wasn't just some funny old man, but somewhat of a community patriarch who represented a different time and era... Whose relationships went deep with those who knew him. John and his siblings had grown up in the house in that photo. Remnants of a neighborhood fading away... In many ways, he was a testimony to a way of life that preached about commitment and even covenantal-neighborhoods. It is the forgotten art of staying put... of harvesting the fruit of a life of consistency. What might the world be like if we could relearn how to pour ourselves out completely to a particular place and people?

I could blog-on about how I've seen this man do for others, mowing grass for people half his age, working on cars, and on and on. Little did John know how much he had been inching into the Kingdom of God over his 75 years.

But as I sat beside his bed, with only days left to live, his coherence almost lost, neighbors and friends came to visit. His life spoke true by those who came. It was those neighbors from around the corner. It was the women who worked at the Circle K. Local lives touched by a local man.

Now John may be gone, and soon to follow this house where we clocked hours on those old metal chairs... yet, the kingdom of heaven has advanced and will continue to do so as John's life ripples into today.

We thank God for such a person and may we all learn something about the simplicity and power of presence through him.

Worship Babies

In many ways, the time I get to spend with my girls is the closest I get to true worship with God. The presence, joy, peace that I experience with them is presence, joy, peace that is from God as a gift - and in worship, for God.
I know how much I've been pre-conditioned to expect holy moments of worship in some service during the chorus of some song... or 5:30 in the morning as I sit in the dark praying. But even though my theology as always told me this - the last few years of life have revealed this to be more true and real than ever before... How expansive the heart of worship is! We do our faith and most of all our Maker an irretrievable dis-service when we leave such narrow descriptors of worship. Even perhaps that we the need to place such stark "descriptors" on it suggests that we are already missing it.

Is worship not being present in the presence of God? Anywhere and everywhere we are... to acknowledge His presence there before us... there with us presently... and His presence transcending "us" and "this" on into the future.

And God's presence is everywhere, flowing all over His creation. In the beginning of his book The Divine Dance author Richard Rohr writes about the presence of God, "This triune God allows you, impels you, to live easily with God everywhere and all the time: in the budding of a plant, the smile of a gardener, the excitement of a teenage boy over his new girlfriend, the tireless determination of a research scientist, the pride of a mechanic over his hidden work under the hood, the loving nuzzling of horses, the tenderness with which eagles feed their chicks, and the downward flow of every mountain stream." (1)
(Yes, it does sound a little like a mystical Hallmark card!)

God is present all around us and His Spirit is constantly inviting us to participate in His holy flow... inviting us into worship.

Those little teeth that peek out at me when they smile. The dimples that simultaneously sink on their cheeks. The little belly laughs. The stuffing cereal in their mouths. The "Dada's" and "Mama's" - all invocations to worship.
I'm sure had it all been recorded there were chapters more on Jesus' words about the kingdom of heaven and little children. Yet, what we have is enough to know - The kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these. (2)

And that calls me to worship, today.

1 - The Divine Dance - pg. 38
2 - Matthew 19:14

Purple Socks

I'm not a fighter, i'm a lover.
But 30 minutes in to trying to get my 3 year old to put on socks this morning, I come out of my corner with gloves up!
I'm fairly confident that Story is an 8 on the enneagram (like her mom). And if that doesn't seem to mean anything to you.. it should, because the world is run by them.

Some mornings, by the time Emily leaves with the girls for school it feels like I've done 10 rounds in the ring! I'd say really the winner of this last round was daylight savings time... that blindsided us all with a 1 - 2 punch. I went from getting no quiet time in my morning prayer because the girls were waking up so early to now i'm having to wake (all 3 of) them up to get ready! And everyone knows not to mess with sleeping bears... But sometimes that's just why there are daddys.

So before the work day can even begin there is a sort of release ritual that I must enter into (if there's time). It involves closing my eyes, saying "Lord" over and over, and taking lots of deep breathes. It's a fine line between coming back off the ledge and contemplation.

Now for those who don't know me that well I say all this with equal amounts of jest and truth. There is a cosmic comedy to life... the things that we find most true are equally as funny... because it seems that the more we discover about Truth, the more Audacious we find it to be.

This is why people who's faith and worldviews are cemented into place have lots of struggle with the future... They would rather the future be stagnant. But instead it is of course constantly changing. Thus, for them the future is always the next step toward our epic demise as a society and world... rather than a step closer to the Eschaton... Ultimate Reality... Heaven.

Months ago I decided that our family needed to be more intentional about our morning routine. It clearly needed something more than "oh the girls are awake...what time is it? ... are we late?... what's for breakfast?" Are you with me?
So we scheduled out every weekday morning with who gets up with the girls, what they cook ,and what time breakfast is. Its worked maybe half the time... maybe. But we'll get there. I do believe beginning our days intentionally rather than reaction-ally will see us participating in the kingdom to come a little better.

But as for today, we're just trying to put on socks.

What Do I Really Want?

The house is a wreck. Keeping up with two little girls is more challenging than juggling standing on one leg while atop a circus elephant blowing his nose.
... Yeah I said it.

It leaves you potentially asking the question every single day, "Am I using my time for that which is best?"

Every time I stop to do laundry I could be spending irretrievable time with my children. Or if I sit down to color with Story for an hour - the moment I get up to do something different, "Dad, come color with me!" Sometimes my three-year-old actually looks at me and says "Spend time with me!"
What three-year-old says that!? How can you turn that down!?
Now some of you reading this are thinking,"Dude... spend time with your kids!" "Don't be a jabroni man!" Let me begin by saying I wish I could spend every day with them... And Emily and I go to great lengths to have intentional family time with our beautiful and amazing little girls. We Sabbath on Saturdays, watch them together on Wednesday's, go to the library, have play time at night, we make sure to eat breakfast together every morning... Not to toot my own horn *toot* ... I think I'm a pretty good dad. Who knows, maybe the best dad in the world, whose to say... really.... ;)

Although, I have been chewing on the thought again lately of boundaries and focus. Now of course when we think of the term boundaries we begin to draw lines in our minds and tend to think of things being inside or out of them. I would venture to say it is much more blurry than that.
I'm not on the John Maxwell wagon much anymore but he does have a helpful axiom that goes something like, "You should never feel like you should be at home when you're at work, and you should never feel like you should be at work when you are at home."
My latest reaction to that is... well, you clearly don't work from home do you, Johnny?

Ok seriously, though, it does give a healthy framework of thinking about life. If we are continually thinking about being in a place that is OTHER than where we are... we will never know the Present.

There comes a moment, and you'll know it by the smell, that you must wash the diapers (for those who adhere to the holiness code of cloth diapering)... OR there is unidentified green colored growth happening on a pile of dirty dishes... OR there is a rustling coming from your hamper... as if amidst the dirty laundry there is now a wocket living in your pocket. You know what I'm talking about.

You can't go on coloring, life must be dealt with. At some point, to reference the late great King Solomon... the eating has stopped, the drinking is done, and now it's time for the toil. Enjoy the dishes! (see Ecclesiastes for further notes on enjoying chores)

Yet! Life isn't meant to live in a state of chaotic reaction. Clearly, you shouldn't let mold... or wockets in your house. But I believe we are designed for rhythms. Ordinary, everyday guilt-free, holy life, rhythms. A time for everything...and you have to decide when that time is. The fun part is deciding what your rhythm looks like... the hard part may be sticking with it... the grace comes as you learn to be less rigid with your lines... the love comes as you learn to love the present.

Maybe you don't do laundry on Tuesdays. Maybe you only do laundry on Tuesdays.
Maybe you play with your kids before you do anything else on a Monday.
Maybe you better have a cup of coffee before you even talk to your spouse... but you're going to have to get up just a little bit earlier if you're going to do that!

I guess the point is... to create your life rhythm... your rule of life... you have to answer the question. What is it that I want? What do I want? What do I really want? Like, really?
Do I want to sleep more? Or better relationships?
Do I want money? Or do I just want more time to read and pray?
Do I want to eat more sweets? Or do I want to feed hungry people?

This likely sounds trivial and slightly hyperbole. But it isn't. Because how we spend the few hours we have on earth, right now, will come down to you answering that question that no one else will answer... What do I really want? 

Out of what those answers are... There may you find your life.

Kingdom Compost and some Celine Dion

Ashes to Ashes. Dust to Dust.
The Kingdom of God advances as we learn to die. That our lives may become kingdom compost.

The church generally has been more interested in how to grow than how to die, and ironically the more it struggles for its life the more it dies.
.. but that may be for another post.

Personally, Lent calls to me this year and reminds me to pray, to fast, and to give. One would assume a Jesus follower is doing these things continually and steadfast. Yet it's amazing when we step back and look hard into how we spend each day how much these practices are missing from our lives.

We like to say "I pray continually"
Or "I fasted breakfast this morning as I ran out the door running late"
"I give, I have a weekly automatic withdrawl for tithe."

hmmm... Nope.

The temptation for too many of us is to believe because God loves us the way He does, He understands "how insane my life is," and accepts my "sacrifices" as they are. As I am.
And I would make no argument against that! Except! Because God loves us in the extraordinary way He does, our response becomes Loving God, with all our heart, mind, soul, strength. As one of my favorite authors, Richard Rohr says in his new book, Divine Dance, "God can only be loved and enjoyed..."
Specific and intentional moments of Prayer - Fasting - Giving are at the heartbeat of following Jesus any further.

Doing these things will slow your heart, they will make every beat count.

They will slow your breathing, turning your lungs into hermeneutical instruments of grace.

It will empty out your belly, and fill up your life force. Your soul.

It will open your hands, to release and receive.. and release again.

This Lent, may we come to our End. So that we may Begin Again.





All I have left here is a slightly unrelated quote from, you guessed it, Celine Dion -
"You were my strength when I was weak; you were my voice when I couldn't speak; you were my eyes when I couldn't see; you saw the best there was in me; lifted me up when I couldn't reach, you gave me faith because you believed. I'm everything I am because you loved me."
So good! Right!? Go ahead, sing it. 😉

Eminem Emissions

Something about this morning was not a good start. It has rained the last three Tuesdays. And this Tuesday morning I get the task of getting our emissions test done! Well, for the Honda this would be no problem, but for the Neon... it's an adventure. A couple years ago as I went to do the emissions test I was informed, as the poor little rusty car failed the test, "your car isn't going through all the drive cycles" (or something like that). I realized that I could either spend a bunch of money getting this fixed or just drive it around for a while and then go get the test done once more and it might pass... What would you do? I mean come on.
So my yearly routine for passing emissions has been hoping in the car and driving in the rain (it always rains on emissions day) all the way down Briley Parkway to Opryland and then back to then hopefully pass my emissions test! Although today, for unexplainable reasons I drove to West Nashville. Honestly, it was just bad planning on my part to have to do this in February, the shortest month of the year... everyone else gets like three more days to procrastinate.

So I'm waiting in line in a sea of cars also waiting in line to pay their nine dollars and receive their piece of paper with a smiley face on it... and as I'm almost in the garage the guy in the car next to me yell's out the window, "Is that Eminem?" Confused, I look to the left to see he is staring right at me. I realize he is wanting some response. I have none.
"Is that Eminem?" he says again. ... Yeap I heard him right.
I still have no response for this displaced question.
Then I thought, "maybe he hears music somewhere..." (my radio doesn't work) I look at him and listen... and hear nothing. Finally, locked in his gaze I say, "Huh? What do you mean?"
Then he smiles, looks at me, and without fail again says, "Is that Eminem in there?"

Again what would you do? ... I'm stuck in a line of cars, there is no escape from this place or this man's glare. I'm slightly worried I've somehow been transported into emissions test purgatory... I'm actually no longer sure how long ive been here... Is Eminem about to pounce me? Steal my car? Am  I about to be in a rap battle? I'm not prepared. Is it still raining?
Then I realize - he believes that I look like Eminem.
....
Should I deny it? Should I embrace it? Should I look at him and start rapping "cleaning out my closet" which is about the only Eminem song I know other than the one where he makes fun of Christina Aguilera.
This actually happens to me about once a month or so. Not being mistaken for Eminem... that is definitely a first... as I look nothing like Eminem.
Like in December when we stopped at a truck stop and this guy approaches me, asks me if I know "insert random person's name here" to which I say "...No..." (Because when you look like someone... you're probably also friends with them... ) Then he proceeds to tell me how much I look this guy he knows, who is apparently some national kick-boxing champion. Well, atleast we had that in common...
Anyway, how do you respond to that?
"Thank You."
My family and I almost made it out before he began pulling up pictures on his phone.
Later, me to Emily, "Please  tell me I don't look like that guy."
Emily, "I can see it."
...
So, at last, I respond to the guy in the car, "Yes... can't you see." I say this as I gesture to the 1997 Dodge Neon I'm driving.. that at one point I'm sure was white but now is an earthoney mix of dirt and rusty brown with TopGun and Settlers of Catan stickers on the back. Clearly, I'm Eminem.

We tried to make conversation about the ridiculousness of emission test processes... but it was just too awkward at this point. I blame him.

Good news though, I passed. :)

Here we go!

Blogs. Blogs are funny things. I have successfully started a few in my day, and successfully not written much in them. But as we say - This time is different! :)
They are funny because it's like writing in a journal, except not at all... Journals, in my mind, are private things, this isn't. Although, this blog isn't written to be a "public" thing as much as an expression of a person.. that you can read.

Yet ironically, while this blog isn't for you, it isn't for me either. It is for God. As an outpouring of who I am, what I've done, and how I can reflect on it all, as my life is a gift - from God. For God.

Here we go!